Here’s Why…

(Please forgive any wrong grammar or structure, it should be noted that English is not my first language.)

This post is not something that I want to write, but I need to get this off my chest. My kind friends on twitter has been asking me what it is that bothers me so much today. The attention that they give to me is really overwhelming, in a good way. You see I’m used to being invisible. So here’s my story…

In my post I’m Grateful for my Friends I mention something about a back stabbing bitch/former friend.  I’ve known her since my 2nd year of college. It’s safe to say that she’s one of few people that I truly consider as a friend. She graduated a year before me because I took on the job training outside the country and frankly because her grades are a hell lot better than me. Back on December 2011 she contacted me and told me that her boss is planning to open a 3 star hotel with her as the General Manager and she needs my help to set up a few things because she doesn’t know anyone else who knows more about room division than me. I was busy with my thesis at the time (I planned to graduate on February), but I just can’t see my friend being so helpless so I agreed to help her with a few things.  Then her boss offers me a job as Room Division Manager and I took it. Between December to February my days is filled with research for my thesis, class and work. But don’t worry, I manage to graduated on February as plan. 

On August I found something that really shocked me (work related) and I confronted her about it. But nothing’s changed so I chose to quit my job with whatever dignity I have left. I give my notice and she makes no attempt to stop me. In fact she encourage me to quit sooner rather than later. Believe me when I say I have no choice but to quit. If I have any option I wouldn’t give up my job so easily. September 29th was my last day at work and she didn’t say anything that day,  so I just go through my last day and went home. I plan to take rest for a while, so  I make no attempt to find another job. 

Today (December 3rd 2012) I ask her to give me a recommendation/reference letter so I can use it to find another job. But she won’t give it to me, saying that an employee has to work at least a year to get that kind of letter. The instance I received her message, tears started to falling down. It’s the first time I cry since this whole mess started. I didn’t cry because she won’t give me the letter, I’m sure I can manage something else, I cry because it seems to me like our years of friendship means nothing to her. 

You know the sad part is? I’m not/can’t angry or hate her for everything. I just don’t understand and confuse as to how could she do this to me? Me, the only friend who’s willing to help her when nobody else can’t or won’t. Me, the only friend who attended her father funeral two years ago. Me, the one who help her get to where she is today.

I’m no angel by any means. But I never hurt other people on purpose or walk away on someone in troubles when I can help or at least try to help (All that is necessary for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing and all that).  

I don’t know why, but  in all that mess all I can remember is this quote: “For if you truly believe that kindness is never wasted, you have to hold tightly to that belief even when the kindness is thrown back in your face”

― Sylvain Reynard, Gabriel’s Inferno

Now, I’m questioning my ability to judge people’s character and where I went wrong with this friendship?

I really can’t thank my twitter friends enough with their support today. Siobhan, Professor Emerson FP, Manda, Debra, Lauren, Fiona, Squally, Elena, Terry, Caroline, and Joan I’m really lucky to have you guys. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

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2 thoughts on “Here’s Why…

  1. Hey lovely girl…..it’s good you can let it go through this – as I said today you have integrity and a beautiful soul, it is going to be more her loss in the end….to so stupidly throw away a precious and rare friend!!! Which she will regret! It is not you believe me, she is caught up in herself and her own failings, but it is tough to go through this and always sad to loose something you believed in……but you will grow stronger! So don’t question yourself about it and what you think you did wrong ok….you can’t control or change others bad behaviour …all you can do is know you can look yourself in the face and know you did the right thing for you!!! Xox

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